


Darth Genious and the saga of Ben Ke-no-pee

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Humor, Omorashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Grand Master Skywalker is no more. Darth Genious rises in a remote corner of the galaxy. She rules with less murder, more logistic manipulation. That is, until a meditation session is interrupted by yet another urinary retentive padawan..





	Darth Genious and the saga of Ben Ke-no-pee

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [stake out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6135715) by [hecuba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hecuba/pseuds/hecuba). 



She knew how ridiculous it would’ve sounded a hundred years ago, a dark cloak-wearing anonymous figure, with Darth as their first name, but not a Sith. Stella Rover wasn’t even a Jedi. She knew it was what her father wanted. It was also what she had been. A respected one at that. But that was at the beginning, back when she thought Kylo Ren was a repeat of what happened before, back when she thought it would end through patience. That was technically still the case, but now she felt that Kylo and Rey might need a nudge, especially since she couldn’t keep her balance ideas to herself anymore. So with that, leaving behind her medallion, and Jedi robes, and a note explaining her choice, she took her Crystal Swift cruiser to an abandoned point from which a big part of the galaxy could be seen, particularly the individual locations of Kylo and Rey. She became Darth Genious, the most ruthless, high-tempered, and only, balanced Force user in the Galaxy. She didn’t tell anyone about the “Dark Lord” path, for obvious reasons. Her first act was to take out Hux’s First Order fleet. Which was successful. She needed to give both her assistants their space. So she had grenades placed on all non-essential resistance escape pods. Should they need to save their life, Darth welcomed it. But should Finn want to follow Rey where she was going at that moment, he must not be able to. 

 

Two days after the second attack, on the escape pods, Darth Genious was meditating. She got snapped out of it by a disturbance in the force. She had been careful to tune out all signals associated with only one polarizing side, so it had to be one of her disciples. She tracked the signal in her mind and found the source. She rolled her eyes, facepalmed, and moaned, as she let herself fall to the floor, punching the ground with frustration. The adorably vulnerable Kylo had been led ridiculously astray by Snoke, it seemed. He was at that moment in the middle of using the Force to block out, all signals from the bladder, whilst tightening all muscles around the bladder as well. The disturbance came from the fact that he had been doing this for a week now. It seemed to be an exercise to scale down his bodily functions to the bare minimum, or even more extreme, the Force minimum. Darth Genious couldn’t believe he was doing this. There was no excuse in any part of the Galaxy that justified not going to the ‘fresher the minute you have to. Nature was one of the most important virtues. That is the point of achieving balance. Removing stiff borders and regulations on the use of limitless power. Putting rules on the Force just opens up people to blame the rules for being flawed, if you do something wrong “it wasn’t in the rules!”. That probably paid a big role in the Clone Wars of ancient history. She needed to stop this now. Darth Genious reached out to Kylo with the Force and made a link, so they could see each other.

 

Kylo: Master

 

Darth Genious: Kylo. I am sure you wonder why I have summoned you

 

Kylo: Yes. 

 

Darth Genious: I have noticed a grave problem in regards to your methods of meditation.

 

Kylo: What do you mean?

 

Darth Genious: You are ignoring an important scientific fact Kylo. One that brings your body unnecessary pain.

 

Kylo: I do not have pain.

 

Darth Genious: Don’t lie to me Kylo. I can feel it as we speak. Your meditation is over, all you have to hide it, are your own muscles, and they’re not doing so well either. 

 

Kylo: I don’t know what you mean.

 

At this point, the Dark Lord had stimulated the nerves in Kylo’s leg muscles slightly. They were currently trembling.

 

Darth Genious: Your legs are shaking.

 

Kylo instantly put his feet together to stop it. 

 

Darth Genious- And now you’re scratching the back of your leg, while rubbing your legs together.

 

Kylo- I have an itch.

 

Darth Genious- In both your legs?

 

Kylo- Yes.

 

Darth Genious- I’m not stupid, Kylo. I didn’t summon you on the disturbance alone. I called because I already know what you’ve been doing.

 

Kylo- And what’s that.

 

Darth Genious- You’ve been abusing your bladder, to unacceptable proportions.

 

Kylo- I don’t see what’s wrong with that. It helps our cause advance faster, with fewer distractions. 

 

Darth Genious- Yeah, I think Rey might disagree with that. Did Snoke teach you that?

 

Kylo- No, I consider it common sense. 

 

Darth Genious- Efficiency is nice, but never at the expense of the body. Especially not natural bodily functions that everyone undergoes every day. Urinating is NOT, and will NEVER be, superfluous in comparison to the work we’re doing. It should always be done. It’s alright Kylo. I may be a Dark Lord, but the last thing I want is for you to feel like you shouldn’t pee. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Refresher stupidity is the most annoying form of stupidity I know. That’s why I hate the Jedi. They definitely had some type of restrictive refresher protocol at some point. I’m going to hang up now, and as soon as I do, I want you to go to the ‘fresher, got it?

 

Kylo- Ehm... I don’t think I can..

 

Darth Genious- I gonna assume you mean “physically” can’t?

 

Kylo- That’s correct. I had to use a lot of my fluid midichlorians for the trick, as I don’t think pure Jedi or Sith can do this, and now.. they’re stuck on the command. It would take a lot of concentration that I couldn’t muster in the refresher, but if I do it in my room, I’ll wet myself once I succeed.

 

Darth Genious- Well then, seems we have only one option. I’m sorry, but I will have to maintain my Force connection when you’re in the ‘fresher so that I can activate your bladder remotely. Basically, I need to still see you in the refresher, so I can use the force to make you pee.

 

Kylo thought for a second. 

 

Kylo- I concur. Let’s commence. 

 

Darth Genious nodded and followed Kylo with the Force, into the refresher. She allowed for a quick “blip”, so he could “get ready” and turn around. He agreed to let her monitor the whole evacuation to make sure he got it all out. 

 

Kylo- I’m ready. 

 

Darth Genious- Aiming correctly?

 

Kylo- Yes, Master. 

 

Darth Genious- Very well. Starting the push. 

 

Darth Genious sent a strong signal to both of Kylo’s urethral sphincter muscles, telling them to open. She sent images of waterfalls and urinating to Kylo’s head, along with as many signals she could, to the disinhibitor center of his pons. One last massage of the bladder, specifically the “Skywalker Sweet Spot” Obi-Wan taught her, and the floodgates opened. Kylo moaned in relief. While maintaining the connection, Stella collected data, to calculate his non-Force augmented bladder capacity, for when Rey arrived, as she knew Kylo to be awkward around urination, she was just surprised today, as to how far his mind would go to remedy it..

 

With every Force trace of Kylo’s effort gone from every nerve and muscle, Kylo pushed out/shook off the last few drops of pee, wiped off his “lightsaber” and zipped up.

 

Kylo- Done, master. 

 

“I am aware. As we agreed”, she replied with a smile

 

“Feel better now Kylo?”

 

Kylo- Very much, thank you, Master. By the way, why did you massage that particular spot on my bladder?

 

Darth Genious- It’s a family trick which Obi-Wan used on your grandfather when he was a padawan. He too put pride ahead of his refresher needs. Obi-Wan had to use the trick to make Anakin wet himself. There wasn’t time for anything else. It would’ve certainly happened anyway, but he made it more comfortable. It works on me as well. I have used it on myself a couple of times, so I know. As far as family traits go, I find it lovely. And hilarious!

 

Darth Genious laughed loudly. 

 

Kylo- Indeed. 

 

Darth Genious- Now, I’ve collected info on your bladder, so that Rey can keep an eye on you around this once she reaches you. I told you she’d disagree, that’s why I’m telling her what happened, and helping her to help you. In the meantime, when you need to pee, go! Understood? 

 

Kylo- Yes Master. 

 

Darth Genious- Good. 

 

And with that, she severed the connection. The End. 


End file.
